Do you and your business need a “wife” to be a success?

bride The Gay-Lesbian-Transgender thing is getting quite the buzz in my therapy practice and in the culture in general.  I don’t want anyone to panic when I let you all know that I will be getting a “wife” in the near future.

No, I’m not planning on any hormone therapy or having any kind of surgery to add body parts!

But, I’m a week away from finding my bride.

Last week, I got to spend some time with my branding gal JuliAnn Stitick.  I was literally salivating when she described her relationship with her personal assistant.

Her right hand lady helps her pack her bag for trips and her purse and brief case for her week.  She organizes her outfits for the week, helping her look “put-together” all the time.  She does her groceries, washes her car, prepares her bills, cuts her vegies for dinner, and take care of miscellaneous admin issues.

“Christina, you need a ‘wife’.”

I didn’t need persuading.

I knew I did. Discovering that there really is the perfect “bride” out there ready to make my life run smoothly so I can focus on growing my business and living in my genius make me ecstatic.

It actually turns me on! There needs to be chemistry in that important relationship!

I get excited thinking about getting some relief from the stranglehold of the mundane but necessary tasks in life that really are in the way of where I am and where I want to me.

So, does every entrepreneur need to get on match.com looking for their “wife” right away?

No, not really.

It’s time to get a “wife” when you have the fundamentals set up in your business –the right target market, team, products, funnel, and marketing channels.

Basically, when you know everything is about to bust wide open because you’ve effectively nailed it with an ideal customer that really wants you and a problem you can actually solve.  When you can taste the exact success you’ve been envisioning, before you dive in all the way, it’s time to court and find the wife, so your business and life runs smoothly as you up-level.

Christian Biz Owners on Fire Biz and Life Tip:  A good coach can help you know what you need when you need it in your business to optimize your success. I would love to help you determine that.  Schedule your GPS schedule session now.

Is Your Life Or Business Headed for a Breakthrough or a Breakdown?

scared businesswoman OBGyn Christine Northrup, M.D adopts a non-traditional, holistic view of women’s health. She describes the different ways women can approach their menstrual cycles and the outcome – good or bad – that manifests when they reach menopause.

She believes that PMS symptoms are the natural way the mind, body, and soul connect and communicate. For optimal health, she invites us women to acknowledge and address what our bodies, mind and soul are telling us.

We experience heightened awareness in general the days and week before our period. She can either tune into what her body is telling her or ignore it. When invalidated, the body speaks louder with increasing unpleasant symptoms.

Each cycle where the woman does not learn and grow from the insights her body communicates becomes a lost opportunity. The more disconnected the woman is from herself during her menstrual cycle, the greater and more disruptive the mental, emotional, and spiritual eruption she will experience when she reaches menopause.

Instead of living many “breakthroughs” of evolution, her being rebels with a near total “breakdown” in her life, emotions and health.

Because we live with constant change, you go through a similar process in your life and business.

You are either “conscious” and discovering and adapting to every day. You attend to what you sense around you and what your intuition tells you to do about it. Or you let your “unconscious”, the flow of life, others and the culture drive where you go with you in the back seat.

How you manage the inevitable “resistance” along your journey determines whether you are headed for a “breakthrough” or a “breakdown”. Here are some clues that you might be missing on growth opportunities and are headed for a meltdown:

Resistance to Mentorship

You either have no mentor or you frequently and prematurely hop from one program or accountability partner to another. You never give the mentor-mentee relationship an opportunity to work, by sticking with them long enough to let them see your uglies and help you overcome them or you stand on the sidelines the entire time not allowing needed intimacy for greater self-awareness and growth.

Mismanagement of Emotions

People headed for breakdown are often unaware of the near constant low grade anxiety they carry with them almost all the time, because it is often covered with frenetic, less-than-fruitful activity. Breakthroughs come from learning to ride the waves of your emotions, combining them with your cognitive side, and letting them take you to the next level.

Distorted Relationship with Money

People moving towards breakthrough approach their relationship with money in a neutral way. It is one measurement of the value the world perceives that you are providing. They monitor it regularly and make needed course corrections. People headed for breakdown, on the other hand, ignore or exaggerate finances with a deep denial of how one’s money baggage blocks personal and professional abundance.

Imbalance Between Masculine and Feminine Energy

The flow towards breakthrough comes with finding and living in the proper mix between the feminine and masculine energy. Too much masculine energy leads to pushing, which ends up in overwhelm and frustration. Too much feminine energy has you whining about the status of your business and life eating ice cream out of the container with a spoon while in front of the television.

Traveling the path of big and small breakthroughs is how you manifest your dream business and personal life. Let God’s wisdom enlighten you on which path you are on and prudently take needed course corrections.

Christian Women Entrepreneur Biz and Life Tip:  The sooner you decide to influence change rather than let it control you and your life, the closer you become to the creation God intended you to be.

4 Ways to Fix a Focus Problem

stressed-businesswoman Entrepreneurial freedom can lead to business failure if you don’t focus in your business.

Success is doing the right things well.

So you first need to know what “right things” you need to do in your business.  And once you do, you must be focused in your implementation.

The following are signs that you are losing focus in your work time:

  • periods of being spaced out as chunks of your work time passes,
  • making excuses for popping up and out of your seat frequently,
  • feeling like you are accomplishing little.

You could have a secondary or primary focus problem. A person with a primary focus problem has never had the desired focus in his or her business.

A person with a secondary focus problem at one time had good focus.  Somewhere they lost it along the way.

Primary Focus Problems

If you have never experienced good focus in your work time, it doesn’t mean you have ADHD (although you might).

Having primary focus problems flows from being ignorant of how to use good systems and not having appropriate processes in place.  It could be that you are not 100% sure the business strategies are the right ones for you, so you waver in your enthusiasm of implementing them.

Secondary Focus Problems

A newly found focus problem could represent shifting priorities, business needs, and a plan that needs to be updated.  Things may have clicked at one time.  Now with, perhaps a change in life circumstance what you were doing no longer fits.  Your unconscious may have created a drag to let you know some revisions to the strategies need to be made to avoid going in the wrong direction.

4 Steps To Fix The Focus Problem

Either way, some or all the following four steps could do the trick to realign you and your business, so you can get back into good flow.

1. Establish or re-establish goals and objectives

Our brain wants to please us.  When we have a clear vision, our brain works hard to find the people, places, and things to get us there.  When something has changed that affects our vision that our conscious mind is not up-to-speed on things are misfiring in our brain. The same effect shows in our actual work implementation.

Review and change your goals and objectives to achieve confidence and efficiency.

2. Determine whether you have too many or conflicting goals

Like in step one, too many goals can overload the pathways in the brain.  When everything is a priority, nothing is a priority. Your brain doesn’t know what to do first, so it sends confusing messages about what to do next.

Take a look at your goals and be honest if you are trying to do too much.  Create a priority list and use it when you need to be doing two things at the same time.  Being more realistic about what you can do opens up space in the brain to actually do the work.

3. Acknowledge your Learning Curve and Systematize

Sometimes you become unfocused because you are doing a new task and aren’t completely clear how to execute it.  You may find yourself procrastinating because you aren’t  sure how to get started.

When you realize you are ignorant of the best process  and it is causing you to be stuck, devoting time to systematize the task can uncork you.

4. Assess and Address Your Inner Game

Sometimes having poor focus is really about a much bigger energetic issue.  You may have a mismatch between where you are energetically with the success you desire to achieve.   Your current belief system might limiting you from getting you where you desire to go.

For example, if you can’t picture yourself having the kind of financial success you are striving for because you are feeling unworthy, you aren’t going to get your whole being working for you in a focused way toward the goal.

Journaling can help you see what limiting beliefs might be in play.  There are a number of techniques for overcoming inner game problems to help you work through them.

You really can earn more in less time when you make the most of your time at work and play.  Poor focus can be a symptom of many things. Do your best to figure out and eradicate the root cause.

If you need more help I would love to schedule a complimentary GPS (God’s Will Planning Session) to see where the gaps might be in you achieving your Holy Spirit-inspired vision.  To get on my calendar go to http://talkwithchristina.com.

Christian Women Entrepreneurs Biz and Life Tip:  Make sure you have set work times, so you can recognize when you are not focused and need to be realigned.  

6 Ways Business Ownership Converts Your Flaws into Virtues

blogID71 Okay, so I’m this 22-plus-year faith-based marriage and family therapist turned Christian women entrepreneur coach. But are the roles that different?

Not really…it’s all about change.

My entrepreneurship journey has at times felt like a psychological and emotional enema; simultaneously painful and cleansing. In being self-employed, like with relationships, your personal issues surface and affect situation outcomes if not handled well.

Business ownership can be the vehicle for your growth in holiness. Consider how jumping into the frying pan to create a profitable enterprise transform these six vices into virtues:

Prefer to Listen? Click on the player below



  • From Independence to Interdependence – I savored the freedom to work from home from the comfort of my upstairs home office, accessible to my kids whenever they needed me. Later, I grew up to understand the activities necessary for a profitable business. I had to lift my caboose of my computer chair for face-to-face contact as I reach out to prospects, clients, and colleagues for win-win opportunities. Bottom line is I learned I can’t do this alone.
  • From Control to Being Teachable – Like many women entrepreneurs the lure of the flexible schedule appealed, only for me it was honestly a desire to control my schedule and my life. The money trail in my business lets me listen to others about shifts I need to make and where I needed to pry back my fingernails and release the grip that was keeping me stuck.
  • From Perfectionism to Being Good Enough – Devoting endless hours to polish a presentation may work if you aren’t trying to generate leads and clients at the same time. Pride and insecurities help rationalize being overly detailed, until it’s time to make the bank deposit and you fall short. Knowing how much to spend on each project and when it’s time to move on keeps the cash moving in your business.
  • From Shame to Vulnerability – In the comfort of my therapy office, I experienced my clients’ broken sides. But once an entrepreneur thrown on the stage, I didn’t like the spotlight revealing my warts and scars. The understanding that people want to collaborate with real people helped me see and communicate how my wounds were actually lights illuminating God’s special mission for me.
  • From Comfort to Fearlessness – Up-leveling comes with a price, but so does not evolving. In my business, creating and having my Holy Spirit-inspired vision has moved me out of my comfort zone and into situations that at first felt like near panic-attacks. Prompted by an intense desire not to fail, I walked through my fears to a confidence I had not known previously.
  • From Self-Management to Trust – As a marriage and family therapist I had reached a competence level where I could almost do my job unconsciously, even in Spanish! The transition forced me into the unknown with higher stakes because of my personal investment. Trust and doing the next thing was my only alternative to quitting when times were tough.

If God is calling you to start or grow a business or ministry, it’s like that he’s also calling you into a deeper pruning process, so that he can use you more effectively in building his kingdom.

Christian Women Entrepreneurs Biz and Life Tip: Seeing your business develop from a spiritual vantage point can help you surrender quicker to God’s shaping of your soul; have quicker, better business results; and have a lot of fun doing it.

What is Your Success Set Point?

Asian playing tennis Our oldest son almost didn’t make it to earth alive. Ian was born two months premature, breech, with the umbilical cord strangling his neck. He was blue, but quickly revived after an emergency C-section.

Four months after his birth, we learned Ian was bilaterally profoundly deaf.

Following doctors’ advice five years later, Boys Town Research Hospital in Nebraska completed a genetic evaluation. Genetic scientists were learning a defective hearing loss gene could mean, adjacent ones, like the kidney gene, might also be. Testing helps patients proactively respond.

The results showed Ian had damage to his central processing functions, probably related to his difficult birth. The physician explained that with the brain damage Ian would never be the “star football player”. The evaluation team encouraged us to optimize Ian’s abilities.

The feedback was not a complete surprise. Upon entering 1st grade Ian carried with him the social challenge of being unable to catch a ball. He dodged some bullies, but not all. Several years of occupational therapy reprogrammed Ian’s brain to master basic physical skills.

Upon discharge, the occupational therapist encouraged Ian to play sports to progress. I started Ian as early as possible in different sports to help make up for his physical deficiencies, first with regular tennis lessons. Tennis was a good fit for Ian. By being steady he developed great fundamentals.

Ian liked the lessons, but was phobic about competitive play. I strong-armed Ian to compete in his first tennis tournament last summer. Convinced he would not win a match, he almost won his first game against a classmate who hung with the group of early bullies. Ian won his second match and actually finished 3rd in the tournament, ahead of his classmate.

A year away from entering high school, the tennis coach cornered Ian into doing team tennis. Kids partner up and participation in five matches at various tennis clubs. Reluctantly, Ian agreed.

Last weekend, a buildup of fear-of-success and inadequacy rose and dissipated from Ian as he and his doubles partner won their first team tennis match. In his second singles match, Ian came from a 5-1 game deficit to win the match in the tie breaker.

Ian’s wins created a disconnect with his his self-perception as an athletic failure. The new successful self-image was now cracking through years of negative self-talk and painful experiences.

Ian’s fear-of-success surfaced in his final match. Losing to a girl, a far inferior tennis player, 6-0, Ian’s play did not resemble the first two matches. He made little effort to hustle to balls and had a number of out-of-character double faults.

Ian’s psyche could just barely tolerate the two wins. With his current mindset, he had hit his success set point.

So what is your success set point and how do you know when you are bumping up against it?

Here are the clues:

  • Same Goal Wish List – If you are listing the same goals year after year – lose weight, earn more money, be more balanced – but don’t gain much ground, it may be because your image of yourself doesn’t match the “you” you would be if you achieved those goals.
  • All Talk, No Walk – People reaching their success set point talk plans with no action. The talk can give you false security you are moving towards success, when you are really hitting your self-imposed glass ceiling.
  • Going At It Alone – Successful people don’t reach those milestones alone. Jesus had his 12 apostles. Great presidents surround themselves with the best advisors. Trying to grow your business without God. a team, and mentors, creates a long-uphill battle. Your blind spots get the best of you. You don’t know what you don’t know. You stay in a holding pattern or eventually go out of business until you figure that out.

Ninety percent of success is mindset. Don’t let fear of success stand in the way of your Holy Spirit-inspired vision.

Christian Women Entrepreneurs Biz and Life Tips: Honestly assess on a scale of 1-10 if you might be putting brakes on your success at some level, and take some action to push through the block.