Marital Chess (Part 2)

In the previous blog I promised to deliver some effective marital chess moves to systematically catapult your marriage to greater charity and intimacy— whether or not your spouse is on board.

Marital stress is based on the concept that a marriage is a system, and that it only takes one person in the system to change to positively change it.  Marital chess is not manipulation; it is about thinking and acting smart.  Marital chess can be a tool for you enhance love, the bond of perfection in your marriage.

Mindfulness permeates a successful marital chess move. Consider the way you act with your spouse and the response you get.  If you don’t like the outcome, change the input.

For example, even from our days in pre-marital counseling my spouse Joe and I were amazingly open and blunt with each other.  Even the priest commented how well we knew each other.  We could spot and share our insights with little hesitation.

But over the years this “freedom of expression”, particularly at stressful times, morphed into insensitive or even invasive comments.  There were moments when our interactions could even get harsh.

So if you sometimes engage in insensitive, critical interactions or even sulk or withdraw with your spouse, view the result. Often this produces a cranky, negative husband.  Likewise, when you are attentive, interested, and receptive to your husband consistently, generally a different spouse will emerge on the other end of your chess board.

So take look at your current chess moves, and apply some mindfulness to help get your chess pieces where you want them to go.

The Catholic Women’s Guide to Healthy Relationships:  If you have a relationship  that isn’t going well, take a look at the moves you are making and how you might alter them for a different result.